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You Are ‘Different’ – You Have ValuesBy Steve Jeffery
Things continued to deteriorate and I felt powerless to help, until I returned to my own, original source of inspiration, Earl Nightingale. At that time I was 20 years old, in the Australian Army and had just returned from Vietnam. I had been married for two years and I was in the process of transitioning from military to civilian life. The outside world remained a complete mystery and I had no idea how to begin my new life. It was Earl’s daily radio broadcasts that opened my mind, changed my attitutude towards life, changed the way I thought and gave me the confidence to begin what remains today an amazing and exciting voyage of discovery. After revisiting Earl’s work I knew what was needed and I made a commitment to reintroduce the world to Earl Nightingale, drive a new mind-set based on old-fashioned personal values and provide insight, inspiration and direction to others. I have made major adjustments to my life over the past year, reassessing my needs, skills and personal values in readiness to meet the many challenges I knew lay ahead in a world that had changed forever. Since co-founding The Nightingale Institute with Diana Nightingale, I have touched the hearts and minds of thousands of people around the world. It has been a truly profound and life-changing experience. I have discovered many things and more specifically, since co-founding Military Network with Mike Perry just a month ago, I rediscovered myself. I would like to share my findings with you and sincerely hope that it will provide other military people, serving and former, with hope, guidance and if necessary, a new beginning… For most of my life, since transitioning from military to civilian life all those years ago, I felt like an outsider. I felt different, even inferior to non-military civilians and I was certainly made to feel ashamed and guilty about my active service in Vietnam. Nevertheless, I remained focused on my journey; exploring the possibilities and the outer limits of my own potential, overcoming obstacles, trying to optimize value in every endeavour and to be the best I could be in whichever field I chose. I held fast to my personal values applying them to my business dealings, to my jobs and my life in general. This often conflicted with my non-military counterparts. However, I came to realize that while many didn’t share my values, it was this quality that contributed to my many successes and the successes I have delivered for others. Earning people’s respect and trust has been one of the greatest thrills of my life. I have, for some reason, remained a loner, perceived as being ‘different’, very much an individual, but consumed by my passion to explore life to its fullest and in the most honorable way possible. Last week while researching Bob Parsons (USMC-Ret), as our “Featured Veteran” I came across the following statement by General Carl Epting Mundy, Jr., 30th Commandant of the Marine Corps and I quote:
Today, as our society changes, it’s more important than ever that our conduct is a beacon of these enduring values. Our Core Values are a cornerstone of the Corps and a source of strength for every Marine.” It is this quality above all others, that underpins Earl Nightingale’s work, giving it the strength and authenticity that the others lack, based on experience, on ‘knowing’. It is a quality shared by all military people, that sets them apart from non-military people; that makes them unique; that gives them a competitive advantage when it comes to leading a successful life in whatever form that may take. I have at last discovered that I am not ‘different’ and that I am not alone. My recent experience reconnecting with military people through Military Network has confirmed this and once again I am enjoying the pleasure of sharing my life and the camaraderie of people with the same mind-set and values. I finally understand that military people will never fully assimilate into the non-military civilian world and nor should it ever be an ambition to be part of that shallow, self-serving, directionless existence. The military experience changed us; gave us pride, dignity, self-respect, direction and purpose; taught us empathy, patience and understanding; extended us to levels inconceivable to the population at large; those who have experienced active-service and lived with constant danger, have ‘walked through the wall’. We are not and nor should we ever feel inferior to our civilian counterparts. We have been given the best training, we have unique skills and experience, a unique mind-set; we were taught to work as a team, to trust and have faith in each other. Civilians will never know the thrill of true team-work. You have the advantage, use it. Work with each other, support each other. Continue to challenge yourself, push the envelope, find and pursue new opportunities together, be creative, be innovative, always identify and drive the value, continue to strive for perfection. You have the courage and the qualities to succeed in life and to help others to succeed. If you are looking for the starting point, download The Strangest Secret - Earl will describe why “We become what we think about” and it will change your life forever as it has for millions of others including mine. Yes, you will find free, illegal copies on the internet, but having your own legal copy will always be a source of pride and provide you with a reference point for the rest of your life. You will also be helping to support the family and widow of a Marine, who has helped so many. Download also Leadership Part 1 and Leadership Part 2. Please listen to these regularly, the message will change as you grow and as your perspective changes. With my greatest respect, _________________________ A Message from the Military Network team Take advantage of our great range of veteran services on Military Network:
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You can walk through any shopping center, any Wal-Mart, or Any Town, USA, and tell a former military man just by their walk. We all seem to walk a little straiter, and even after years out of the service, we still “march”. Everyone now – “Don’t Bounce”. Or am I the only one to have heard the TI say that in basic?
I prefer to deal with ex-military in my business, and in my personal life. You normally know what you are getting when you do.
I would like to say thank you to all that served, and those who still serve. Those that have memories that won’t let go, and those that wish they could forget.
Thanks for the insight, I retired 20 years ago and have never felt like I quite belonged anywhere. I have even suffered boughts of depression and anxiety. I have had several jobs since retiring, but the one which gave me the most satisfaction was one that required I travel to Whidbey Island on occasion to work for the Navy. That site provided me with a sense of belonging. Even though I retired from the Air Force the same values seem to percivere through out all the branches of the military. My wife has even commented that I tend to “stand a little taller” when I go the base to use the exchange and commisary. I could never figure it out, but Duty, Honor and country are so much a part of what we are that it is hard to define for those whom have never been there.
Mr. Jeffery,
I completely agree with you. I know I still feel like an outsider even after being out of the military for 10 years. I wished I didn’t but I do. Tried to go back in when I got laid off the first time but I was refused for the same reason I left the military in the first place. Looks like I was correct the whole time. Oh well.
I do agree that the military embraces Honor, Courage and Commitment. My life after the military has felt like am trapped in soap opera or sometimes in a spy novel with all of the political and social intrigue going on. I do miss the days where things made sense and I didn’t have a spot in some soap opera.
Lee
US Air Force Vet
Steve-Well said!
Semper Fi,
George
Steve,
Thank you for reminding us of the advantage we have.
Semper Fi,
First Marine Aircraft Wing
Steve, Awesome words, thanks for the contribtuion and your service! Semper Fi!
Excellent article. Most Americans agree with and respect those values and virtues you exemplify.
What is missing in much of modern America are the kinds of strong communities that inculcate and pass on such character traits. Strong communities are lacking in part because individuals are putting economic opportunities first. They are willing to uproot themselves and move on in order to advance their careers.
This is not a new phenomenon. The “go-west-young-man” ethos is part of America’s heritage and culture. Ambition and drive are fine things, but there are tradeoffs in life, and the gain of economic mobility is often achieved at the cost of real communities, where people know and grow up with each and are held accountable by friends, family, and neighbors. And the invention of planes and automobiles has only served to accelerate this mobility and its costs.
The military provides all of the advantages of the stable communities of the past. That’s partly how it’s remained an incubator of values. And it’s no coincidence that the military continues to draw its greatest numbers from places where strength and sense of community remain.
Mr. Jeffery,
Fantastic artice. My dad was/is a proud marine from the U.S. heartland. He instilled the ides of right is right and wrong is wrong, no shades of gray. Honor comes from trying to do the right thing when you are the only one doing it.
My wife and I try to instill this simple value in our son – it is tough as we are surrounded by families and kids of the “give me mine and forget you” crowd. Really makes us feel out of touch, but like you said – we do want to assimilate, cost is too high.
I spent 10 years straight in Europe serving the Air Force and have been decimated at the loss of service, workmanship, and pride in the U.S. workforce.
Lastly, my uncle served with the Army in Vietnam and I am proud of both of you and give a huge thank you for growing up much faster than the rest of us.
Ron
Transitioning Air Force Vet
Wow..I loved your article. My father was was a vietnam vet who dearly loved this country and he went home to be with the Lord 2.5 years go. Myself I am a Service Disabled Veteran and I own my own small business. I write Business Proposals for Construction companies.
You really hit the nail on the head “I felt like an outsider. I felt different, even inferior to civilians and I was certainly made to feel ashamed and guilty about my active service in Vietnam” I think most veterans feel this way. There is a special commaraderie in the military that you don’t find elsewhere. The outside is all about getting ahead of the other person, no matter the cost. In the military, it is about team work and people are a family unit. The militay is not perfect, but when it comes to building the feelng of family and belonging, you just don’t find that anywhere else. I can’t tell you how many times on a job, I felt what you expressed, never really knowing how to put it all into words. Military and civilian life are so unparalled.
Thank you for you article…it served a real purpose for me. It told me that I was not alone in how it feels to become a civilian and I got out in 1985 after 6 and half honerable years. I loved the Army and I love my country. Esprit de Corp if found nowhere but in the Military. I Praise God for allowing me to serve this great country.
Carrie Zmarzly,
CZ Consulting Services
Thank you Steve, I am also a Vietnam Era Vet. The site looks great. I have shared the site in several of my networks. Veterans networking talents is an excellent idea.
Jan Green