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You Are ‘Different’ – You Have ValuesBy Steve Jeffery
Things continued to deteriorate and I felt powerless to help, until I returned to my own, original source of inspiration, Earl Nightingale. At that time I was 20 years old, in the Australian Army and had just returned from Vietnam. I had been married for two years and I was in the process of transitioning from military to civilian life. The outside world remained a complete mystery and I had no idea how to begin my new life. It was Earl’s daily radio broadcasts that opened my mind, changed my attitutude towards life, changed the way I thought and gave me the confidence to begin what remains today an amazing and exciting voyage of discovery. After revisiting Earl’s work I knew what was needed and I made a commitment to reintroduce the world to Earl Nightingale, drive a new mind-set based on old-fashioned personal values and provide insight, inspiration and direction to others. I have made major adjustments to my life over the past year, reassessing my needs, skills and personal values in readiness to meet the many challenges I knew lay ahead in a world that had changed forever. Since co-founding The Nightingale Institute with Diana Nightingale, I have touched the hearts and minds of thousands of people around the world. It has been a truly profound and life-changing experience. I have discovered many things and more specifically, since co-founding Military Network with Mike Perry just a month ago, I rediscovered myself. I would like to share my findings with you and sincerely hope that it will provide other military people, serving and former, with hope, guidance and if necessary, a new beginning… For most of my life, since transitioning from military to civilian life all those years ago, I felt like an outsider. I felt different, even inferior to non-military civilians and I was certainly made to feel ashamed and guilty about my active service in Vietnam. Nevertheless, I remained focused on my journey; exploring the possibilities and the outer limits of my own potential, overcoming obstacles, trying to optimize value in every endeavour and to be the best I could be in whichever field I chose. I held fast to my personal values applying them to my business dealings, to my jobs and my life in general. This often conflicted with my non-military counterparts. However, I came to realize that while many didn’t share my values, it was this quality that contributed to my many successes and the successes I have delivered for others. Earning people’s respect and trust has been one of the greatest thrills of my life. I have, for some reason, remained a loner, perceived as being ‘different’, very much an individual, but consumed by my passion to explore life to its fullest and in the most honorable way possible. Last week while researching Bob Parsons (USMC-Ret), as our “Featured Veteran” I came across the following statement by General Carl Epting Mundy, Jr., 30th Commandant of the Marine Corps and I quote:
Today, as our society changes, it’s more important than ever that our conduct is a beacon of these enduring values. Our Core Values are a cornerstone of the Corps and a source of strength for every Marine.” It is this quality above all others, that underpins Earl Nightingale’s work, giving it the strength and authenticity that the others lack, based on experience, on ‘knowing’. It is a quality shared by all military people, that sets them apart from non-military people; that makes them unique; that gives them a competitive advantage when it comes to leading a successful life in whatever form that may take. I have at last discovered that I am not ‘different’ and that I am not alone. My recent experience reconnecting with military people through Military Network has confirmed this and once again I am enjoying the pleasure of sharing my life and the camaraderie of people with the same mind-set and values. I finally understand that military people will never fully assimilate into the non-military civilian world and nor should it ever be an ambition to be part of that shallow, self-serving, directionless existence. The military experience changed us; gave us pride, dignity, self-respect, direction and purpose; taught us empathy, patience and understanding; extended us to levels inconceivable to the population at large; those who have experienced active-service and lived with constant danger, have ‘walked through the wall’. We are not and nor should we ever feel inferior to our civilian counterparts. We have been given the best training, we have unique skills and experience, a unique mind-set; we were taught to work as a team, to trust and have faith in each other. Civilians will never know the thrill of true team-work. You have the advantage, use it. Work with each other, support each other. Continue to challenge yourself, push the envelope, find and pursue new opportunities together, be creative, be innovative, always identify and drive the value, continue to strive for perfection. You have the courage and the qualities to succeed in life and to help others to succeed. If you are looking for the starting point, download The Strangest Secret - Earl will describe why “We become what we think about” and it will change your life forever as it has for millions of others including mine. Yes, you will find free, illegal copies on the internet, but having your own legal copy will always be a source of pride and provide you with a reference point for the rest of your life. You will also be helping to support the family and widow of a Marine, who has helped so many. Download also Leadership Part 1 and Leadership Part 2. Please listen to these regularly, the message will change as you grow and as your perspective changes. With my greatest respect, _________________________ A Message from the Military Network team Take advantage of our great range of veteran services on Military Network:
Subscribe to our free newsletter and stay up to date with issues that affect YOU. Related posts: 20 comments to You Are ‘Different’ – You Have Values |
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About a year ago I wrote the article “
“Our core values—Honor, Courage, and Commitment—mold our character. They guide and shape our lives every hour of every day.
Let me preface this by saying I am a former enlisted Marine (SGT) and a former Navy Officer. While I agree that the USMC and other services provide discipline and other core values that are important in life, I believe the last paragraph discounts and discredits many civilians’ own values and work ethic.
After my time in the military I have had the opportunity to found and sell two companies and work in management at some very well known organizations including MasterCard Worldwide. When I started my journey in civilian life I had a very arrogant attitude fostered, in large part, by the belief that I was ’set apart’ from all civilians. I truly felt that because of my military experiences I was harder working, more skilled, and more capable than my civilian counterparts. Much like the statement above, I was told repeatedly during my time in the military that my experiences would make me better and more qualified than my civilian counterparts. I have learned (often the hard way) that while I have had the opportunity to ‘lead from the front’ in the USMC and USN, many of my civilian counterparts are just as hard working, driven, and motivated as any of the people I encountered in the military. Many also possess the same values of Honor, Courage, and Commitment that I was taught in the Marines. While they don’t experience combat, courage can take many forms.
In fact, I would suggest that (excluding combat and certain jobs) the civilian world is often a more difficult environment in which to thrive. It is very difficult to be fired or laid-off in the military. It simple to terminate an employee in the civilian world for an error or not meeting standards. For this reason the military often does not foster the same level of competition and innovation that you see in the civilian world. I am not discounting the value of military experience I am simply stating that to discount or underestimate the the work ethic or values of the civilians with whom you will work is a grave mistake. I remember one gentleman with whom I worked and respected tremendously (non military) that I later learned from his wife that he was completing his PhD in economics from Harvard. He never said a word or bragged about his own experience and simply went about his job in a very professional manner.
People are people. There are fine people in the military and there are bad people in the military. It is no different in the civilian world. There are great people and not so great people. There are people that possess the same values that are taught in the military.
I hope that if anybody read this they will take away the following: What you learn in the military is extremely valuable but not unique to the military. Apply the skills you learned to learn your job and demonstrate your value. Respect your coworkers and understand that while they may have not served in the military it does not mean that they do not possess the same traits that you value.
Semper Fi!
Chris Mark, MBA, CISSP, CIPP, CPISM/A
Character Counts – Period
Penelope Zeller (US Army)
I have often talked to people about the “why’s” in their lives and had blank or confused stares back at me. Let me elaborate. A friend of mine is in a rock and roll band and they were playing a fund raiser. He invited me to attend and was totally baffled when I said I didn’t support that cause. He said that didn’t matter, it was just a party. I said, yes, it matters. He told me I was weird.
I think if you don’t stand up for what you believe, you are an incomplete person. It’s like standing by while a racist, sexist or other derogatory joke is told, and you don’t say anything. You are condoning that behavior.
It’s about values, standards, integrity and honor.
Robert Britt
Well said Steve. I applaud and mirror your thought and would add as a retired Airman, my engrained service core values: integrity, service and excellence often finds me alone in a corner. But there are those moments when someone comes along and revears what we uphold.
Michael Breclaw
I believe your comments will hit home with a great many people. When I retired from the Air Force in 1995, it was quite a shock to find the environment within the commercial world so vastly different from that of the military. I am not talking about profit and loss, but how people interact. In the military you come to rely, trust and count on those around you, even if you do not get on with them in a social environment. To have your back, in all endeavors.
What I found in civilian life was almost the opposite, in that most individuals looked out for themselves and could not give two hoots about their work colleague. Companies focus purely on the bottom line, with little investment in their people. Even if it is the manager just talking that little extra time to listen to his / her team. I should add that 14 years on, commercial environments have improved.
Instead of being trodden down, I held fast to the values and ways of working I learned in the military, and brought this ethos to my new work environment. Eventually I inspired others, especially those who worked for me. I continued this, and still do today, in all surroundings I find myself. The results being that my teams and I have always delivered in our objectives and more importantly we have fun whilst we are doing it. We lean and learn off each other, becoming stronger as individuals, as well as a team.
I will get off my soapbox now, with one final comment. Whilst not all non military people are insular, it pays to hold onto your values, although those around you might not share them. Eventually, your light will shine through.
Dan Derry
Outstanding Marine I agree we a breed with high moral ethics. Thats why I want to lead others in the civilian sector.
Don Myers
Honor, Respect, Committment. Hmmm… Not concepts I find in the civilian world. I retured from USAF in 2000 and have struggled to let go of my military learning. It seems that there is no honor in the civilian world, and don’t get me started on respect and committment! I’m working with a lot of people in law enforcement, security and homeland security and find they simply don’t care. Punch the timeclock and stab each other to get promoted.
I’ve been asked to do leadership and mentoring training for Law Enforcement. The first thing I hear from junior officers is that they will not mentor. They are afraid that if they teach a junior person they will move up faster. What a foriegn concept for me. We were always taught to bring up the next generation and help them to replace me. If they got promoted I was proud for them. If they got promoted above me I was challenged to look at what I was missing.
It’s no wonder there is corruption in the public service community. They have no sense of honor! Why?
Michael Gomien, RR, CHS-III
Hello friends,
I transition in may and am learning not to be nieve thanks to discussions like this and a wonderful mentor. However, I am wondering if working in non-profit sector might find me in environment with core values as I slide down to San Antonio.
Thoughts??
Scary part, if folks don’t have core values how will the children get them?
Ron Dixon
Transitioning Air Force Vet
Well, I’ve seen a lot of troubled kids get turned around with a strong mentor– I run a sea cadet unit– in 7 years, we’ve lost 3– but have 12 in acdu, (one in the Point!), a bunch in the trades, and plenty more that are now responsible parts of the community– basic aphorism– if u see a problem, fix it.
Terry Callendrillo (US Navy, Ret)
Dear Mr. Jeffery,
Thank you for you post. I served under Gen. Mundy’s son, Col. Mundy as a US Navy Officer (Naval Gunfire Liaison) attached to the 31st MEU in Okinawa, during a MEU float following 9/11. Having transitioned out of the USN in 2005 I, like you, have encountered genuine challenges in conducting business in the civilian world. Like you, I espouse values as the core of my service. Honor, Courage and Commitment is a wonderful refresher for a man who has not heard these words for nearly 5 years. Thank you…particularly because I identify with you in being a loner who helps people transition from military to civilian life. I am a Life, Career and Business Coach, and I run a service which I particularly market to veterans. An excellent coach has coaches of his own…thank you for your refreshing words.
Respectfully,
Lee T. Riley, CCLC
Johannus Coaching